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The alienation of children can be particularly difficult for the elderly family member. Support is the most necessary in the last decades of life. Illness, loss of income, and mobility – all of this is stressful and even more so when you don’t have kids to help you figure it out. Then there are the regrets of looking at your legacy’s lost years and future. “How will I be called back?” “Who will remember me? It can be regrettable for adult children if a parent dies before peace is complete and past issues to resolve.
So how do you reconnect with a family member who has disappeared for you?
Be Present – a Family Member
The number one skill you can give your family member and loved ones is your presence, not jewellery or electronics. Being genuine and enjoying every moment with them will create intimacy and bonding as nothing else can. So put your phones aside, turn off the TV and be here now. Deeply feel your emotions, good and bad. Notice smells, tastes and sounds that you have never noticed before. Interact with your children and your partner. One of the best ways to rewire with family is to donate wealth.
What is the difference Between a Toxic Relationship and a Situational Event?
Experts say there are two typical situations in alienation cases: toxic relationships and unresolved issues that have yet to resolve. If a connection is harmful because of abuse, addiction, betrayal, criminal behaviour, mental illness, or religious beliefs, it may be healthier for someone to quit rather than continue. They set boundaries because they have to maintain their sanity. Others have emotionally cut off family members because of an event or situation they’ve never experienced or “handled”, as therapists say.
Work to Heal yourself – a Family Member
Taking the time to address the issues causing the alienation can be crucial. In a toxic relationship situation, you will have more work to do. For example, if it’s an alcohol or drug problem, you should get help to stop it. You will need to take medication and undergo therapy if it is a mental illness. If a family member is having trouble with their life choices, you need to reconcile with them.
If this event caused the malfunction, you must take responsibility for it. You can do this with the help of a therapist or by talking to friends or other family members.
Start Communication – a Family Member
As someone who wants to improve a relationship, you need to make contact or have an agent do it for you. You can do this by e-mail or by post.
It is important not to blame or make demands in your correspondence. Instead, make it clear why you are communicating.
Understand the Importance of Listening
In the case of reconciliation, allowing the person who feels aggrieved to express themselves is essential. Your job is to try to know why they’re hurting. It’s better not to get defensive and listen than to talk.
Respect your Boundaries
People create boundaries to protect themselves. It’s essential to respect these boundaries, even if you disagree. For example, if your child doesn’t want a face-to-face meeting but is open to phone calls, accept it. If your child has invited you to a family member’s wedding but doesn’t want you in the photos, accept it.
Family member emotional support: “Making us feel better, sharing happy times,” she says. Dignity support: “Make us feel good, affirm that we are fine, help when we are not well. Support network: “It’s a feeling of belonging.